Tuesday, July 14, 2009

9:44 PM

Sunday, July 12, 2009

5:00 PM
and the world turns pitch black

Sunday, July 05, 2009

4:56 PM
something's wrong with me
i'm having constant mood swings
can't sleep
feel that my life is soo... bleah
and i just can't seem to stop being scared and just go do it for once. grr i keep messing up my chances. 

i need to get out of singapore man

i try to imagine what would happen if i stop studying and just screw up my blocks and 'a's and then i can go back to a nice relaxing route

gibberish. i'm talking gibberish again. like the vomit of words for my econs and geog papers. 

shall go do stupid facebook quizzes. 

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

10:28 AM
~ birthday memories ~


dinner at mortons on Sunday. They printed special menus for us! incredible! they decorated the table with confetti too.


(above) from lovely Fac Comm :)
(below) from lovely 08S6B! you guys really made my birthday one of my happiest days this year!! thank you! you guys are super sweet i am damn touched!!! 





(below) from my brother and jessica. haha so sweet also! finally he gave me a birthday present!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

10:04 PM
falling slowly...

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

Monday, May 18, 2009

11:23 PM
this may sound weird, but i enjoy going to airports. 
waiting can be a nuisance, but not when you're in an airport. 
i like to wander around from gate to gate. 
you get to see all these people from all over the world, scrutinize their outfits, wonder whether knee-high boots and mini skirts are the best way to travel, check out their branded bags and luggage, make up stories of where they come from and why they're here. 
and there's also the waiting crowd. families, little kids who like to swing on the bars, drivers holding made-obviously-in-the-last-minute signs of important-sounding businessmen in the same old black suits and black luggage. 
then there's the glamorous and not so glamorous air stewardesses who sometimes wear to much makeup, and you try to imagine how their life flying all over the world must be.
of course, whats an airport without the dashing pilots? With their smart uniforms and confident aura, it's hard not to notice when they walk past, silently admiring how they can actually control such a humongous transport vehicle with such ease. 

its nice to have my mom back home again. she just promised that she'll take me to beijing next time. i guess i'll add that on my list.

i think my phase is blowing over. which is a good thing, because i'm feeling much more positive now. i don't think about it too much now, and i'm cutting down so i guess it's a good sign. went to watch a volleyball match today and it was the first time when i felt excited and happy and relaxed all together in a long time...

7:28 PM
quotes from the new world

john smith:

Love... shall we deny it when it visits us... shall we not take what we are given.
~
I thought it was a dream, what we had in the forest. It's the only truth. 
~
There's something I know when I'm with you that I forget when I'm away.

pocahontas/rebecca:

You are the man I thought you were... and more.
~
Mother, why can't I feel as I should... must? Take out the thorn.
~
Mother, where do you live? In the sky? The clouds? The sea? Show me your face. Give me a sign. We rise... we rise. Afraid of myself. A god he seems to me. What else if life but being near you?  Do they suspect? Oh to be given to you. You to me. I will be faithful to you. True. Two no more. One. One. I am... I am...

john rolfe:

Who are you? What do you dream of? 
~
In my vanity I thought I could make you love me, and one cannot do that and should not. You have walked blindly into a situation you did not anticipate. 
~
She weaves all things together. 

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

10:14 PM
its like i'm wearing a mask...

my body is forced to move but my mind is blank, my only thoughts are on how much time is left before everything is over

facing all these irritating people who only want the limelight

which is sometimes why i hate performances because it becomes more than just dancing, but 
'showing off'... a competition...a mess

Monday, May 04, 2009

10:30 PM
how do you describe this feeling?

you feel trapped. yet you know you're not. 

you know you don't deserve it. yet you still do it.

you know its pointless. yet you enjoy it.

you want it to stop. yet you can't help it. 

so the show goes on...

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

11:14 PM
three little lines. 
i feel like i'm acting my life out
pretending to smile, pretending to laugh, pretending to like someone
i make-believe empty fantasies, do things that i thought were so silly and foolish before
and i feel so sick i'm actually liking it. the sting.
i know i don't deserve to feel like this, to do these things. 
but i can't help thinking about it and wondering how it feels like, and what will happen.
its like my daring move, finally having the courage to do something, even though its not what i really want but 

i hate 

Sunday, April 26, 2009

9:02 PM
i made a horrible discovery that whenever things reach that certain point, outside of my comfort zone, i'll turn and run away. and totally ignore it, pretending that it never happened. each time its been this way. 
my future is doomed...
or maybe i'm just better off this way